His Stupid Cakes
by AlfieFire
Summary: Light is forced to go and buy L a cake, but his trick goes horribly wrong. Crack fic.


**Well… I've been working on stuff like crazy at night and some how this got caught up in the mix! It came out a lot better than expected, and it even made my mom laugh at the edited parts, so, here it goes!**

**Disclaimer: If I had actually owned Death Note, people would actually be dying of Skittles. I don't own Narnia, and Justin Timberlake owns himself.**

**A little YAOI warning, it isn't too bad though.**

**-AF-**

He really didn't expect to find it, but he did. Our favorite mass-murderer gone innocent went to the corner store to buy L another cake after days of protesting, but he ended up having to go to make L shut the hell up. All his conversations went like:

"Light, I need my cake."  
"Make Watari get it."  
"Watari's on strike! Get me mah cake!"  
"No, get someone else!"  
"Everybody else is off working on case!"  
"They're at a hotel! Call them!"  
"But the cake just wouldn't taste the same if you didn't get it!"

After that, Light just left the room to go hide in the closet. In that said 'closet', he found several fully grown dust bunnies (which he had to destroy with his shoe), spiders that smirked, and a dead dragonfly. But those didn't matter. The one true thing that mattered was the fact that L sold his closet, and Light was forced to buy him his cake.

L was very particular about his cakes, and he couldn't stand certain kinds. It made no sense to Light, because L would eat anything sugary, but he just didn't like carrot cake, or fruit cake. Light went out of his way to make sure L got one of these cakes for Christmas, but after L threw a carrot at his face and succeeded, he stayed away from those cakes.

Light was staring at the glass store door all this time, and the cashier was staring at him like he was a monster coming to eat her doughnuts. Light also wondered why he couldn't get doughnuts, but L _really_ was weird and he didn't feel like waking up to see a raccoon minion on his chest.

It had even started raining outside, and Light was just standing there...  
And standing...  
Standing...  
Stand...

"Sir, do you require medical help?"

Light snapped out of his painful stare and looked at the nervous cashier. She resembled Misa, but she had she had hazel eyes and black hair, and didn't speak in that annoying 'Misa talk'. Overall, she would be a better girlfriend than Misa! But she looked smarter too... Light sighed mentally due to that.

"Uh, no, I'm fine. I'm looking for a certain type of cake though. What types do you have here?"

She opened the door and held it as Light walked in, then proceeded to walk him to the cake section. A mysterious man had donated all this money to their humble little shop, so they were able to expand. "We have a variety of cakes here, sir, but we specialize in wedding cakes!"

"Wedding cakes?"

"Yes, sir, wedding cakes. We offer them at a low price too to keep our costumers always happy and able to pay for that special day!"

A little light bulb named Shaun popped up above Light's head. How far could he get on a wedding cake in the Torture L Bar? His face when he was brought a beautiful wedding cake on a silver platter... It made Light smirk in delight.

"Do you make custom ones?"

"Any type you like."

Light smirked that Kira smirk, which got permanently stuck on his face until he went to see his doctors about more pills. "I'll take one!"

--

Light's smirk was still on his face as he was walking home; the episode was a particularly bad one. He tried everything, from washing his face to visiting Misa on the way home, but Misa thought he was proposing and almost stole his precious cake! He ran out the door as Misa stood screaming on her balcony about how he must come back and give her his ring. His face didn't matter now he was wearing a paper bag over it though.

L was used to seeing Light in a paper bag, and was glad to see it because it reminded him of Light's future execution. He also had a feeling Light bought him a carrot cake again and was doing that for protection, but L had another place he could hit with cake that was just as fun.

"Light, did you get me my cake," L asked just as he walked in the door. "You know what will happen if you didn't."

"Yes, I got your cake L. I'll go put it on a platter."

Light's smirking episode only got worse as he took the cake out of he box to see the prized cake. It was in a shape of a L, was pink with pastel flowers, and had two naked male figurines on the front well... Doing what L had never done. He put it on a silver platter and brought it in to the unsuspecting detective.

He set it down to the side of L and stood back waiting for his reaction.

"Light, how did you know I was gay?!"

"WHAT????!!!"

L looked up at him with shocked eyes. "You didn't know I was gay?"

"NOH!!!!!" Light's mouth was open and staring.

L turned back to his cake. "Well, I guess you do now."

Light just left the room to go try to get rid of the mental images and try not to scream.

--

"Light?" L pounded on the closet door. "Light? Come out of the closet would you? I need your input on the Kira case."

Light shifted in the closet and tried to hide his recently obtained red eyes and smirk from L.

"Light, I know you're in shock, but I won't do anything to you! Not unless you do those super-smexy moves in the shower, not that I'm watching!"

"Mungledorf." Light spoke into a coat. "Flabber geish dorgen."

"Light, I will get Watari to tackle this door! And don't think he won't; he's been looking forward to finding something to show off his new muscles."

Light moved even more into the coats.

"You are not finding Narnia in there!" L decided to use desperate measures. "Light, I can't believe you're making me do this... I'm bringin' sexy back."

"L SHUT UP!" Light burst out of the closet and ran out of the room. His screams were heard all through the hall.

--

L knew he really shouldn't have. He really knew that it was a bad idea- no, worse - a terrible idea. It was just too good of an opportunity to pass up though.

Light came into the room and sat awkwardly down, still not recovered from the confession. He turned on his computer to find...

"Oh... My... God..."

Light's mouth was open as he was staring at a gay porn picture that showed everything and would turn any gay guy on beyond belief. It was even working on him, who was straight.

"L... What happened to my normal background?"

L mustered up the most innocent look he could and replied with, "you need to get more comfortable with homosexuality-"

Light ran into the kitchen to escape the awkwardness only to see condoms on fruit and lubricant on the table.

"Hey, I see you found my fruit!"

Light then ran upstairs to his room to escape his worse nightmares come true and flopped down on his bed. Even if his bed was now a lovely shade of pink, it was still his bed. L was really going after him and making him uncomfortable. Maybe after a nice long nap he'd feel comfortable. But to really rest comfortably, he needed his care bear pajamas!

All of Light's clothes were replaced with maid outfits.

"L!"

L's head popped in the door. "Yes, Light?"

"Clothes. NOW."

L started smirking. This was going in his favor. "So demanding Light. I've never met anybody else like this."

Light started twitching, a nice addition to his red eyes and smirk. "L... I have a girlfriend."

L moved closer to Light. "Oh, I know you're gay on the inside Light, and if you can't prove it now, then one day you'll realize how much you want me."

Light's face dulled as his sanity and smartness left his face and left him a vegetable in L's hands.

--

Several years later, several Light fangirls were walking through the park and noticed a mysterious floating orb in the trees. Realizing what it was, they captured it in a bottle and kept it forever as their own little piece of Death Note.

**Hello? This is the little green button speaking. I'd love it if you clicked on me. It tickles!!! :D**


End file.
